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TRAUMA & RELATIONSHIPS

The Strongest Nervous System Wins

As the world around us becomes more and more uncertain — geopolitically, environmentally, economically, technologically, the list goes on — we need to learn how to manage our nervous systems if we want to lead.

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Resourcing Practice

This simple practice is a foundational skill for navigating intense emotions. Once you learn it, you’ll be able to shift out of intrusive feelings into a sense of grounded calm.

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Popular POSTS

  • The Fallacy of Catharsis

    When we explore healing modalities that support, rather than overwhelm, our nervous systems, we teach ourselves that we're worthy of safety and care.

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  • Foundational Trauma Skills for the Body (Part 1)

    Trauma affects function – physically, cognitively, and emotionally — no matter how much try. So how do we get out of the trauma response?

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  • Foundational Trauma Skills for the Body (Part 2)

    Now we know that trauma is the brain and body's natural response to overwhelming situations. It's natural, and it is possible to heal.

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  • Numbness Means You Don't Feel Safe

    Our nervous systems have experienced such a prolonged period of activation, without being able to escape, that we just shut down.

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  • What Most People Get Wrong about Boundaries

    Boundaries are for us. Shifting the responsibility for our boundaries onto other people keeps us from effectively using boundaries for our wellbeing.

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  • Escaping the Trap of Performativity

    When we abandon our authentic self-expression and instead act how we think we're “supposed” to, in relationships and intimacy, we create a mask that I call “performativity.”

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  • The Two Types of Trauma (and Why to Know the Difference)

    PTSD and CPTSD are fundamentally different types of trauma that require different kinds of support to heal.

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3-Minute Mindfulness

My free 8-week mindfulness course will improve your ability to focus, connect you to your body, & help you relax. Experience all the benefits of meditation with a safe & gentle trauma-informed approach.

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Trauma Healing Improves Relationships

Avoidant & anxious relationship styles are common signs that we have attachment wounding or relational trauma. Don’t let the past keep you from finding & enjoying a thriving relationship. Trauma healing will help you step into the safe, secure, & loving partnership you desire.

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Recent POSTS

RECENT IN PTSD & CPTSD

Featured
When Close Isn't Safe
When Close Isn't Safe
How We Retraumatize Ourselves (and What to Do About It)
How We Retraumatize Ourselves (and What to Do About It)
Stop Shaking the Baby
Stop Shaking the Baby
The Entity Will See You Now
The Entity Will See You Now
When Tolerance is a Bad Thing
When Tolerance is a Bad Thing
Not Alone in the Dark
Not Alone in the Dark

RECENT IN ANXIETY

Featured
Presence, Not Perfection
Presence, Not Perfection

Trying for perfection distorts our ability to connect with others. We focus on a rigid and unattainable ideal instead of allowing ourselves to be seen in all our messiness and vulnerability. Often, this comes from a deep fear of rejection or abandonment.

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When Guilt is Good
When Guilt is Good

Those of us with complex trauma or developmental trauma from childhood may have crafted beliefs about ourselves, relationships, and the world from these experiences. We may have learned some version of, "I don't matter," "My needs don't matter," or "No one cares what I think."

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RECENT IN INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS

Featured
Not Alone in the Dark
Not Alone in the Dark

It was many decades into my trauma healing journey that I gave up my fear in the dark — the flashbacks of childhood terror that awakening in the middle of the night would inevitably summon.

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The Mask of High-Performance
The Mask of High-Performance

It’s a trap to focus on high performance as a way to gain love, safety, and belonging. There's always another task to excel at or a new level of high-performance to attain.

Read More →
Featured
When Close Isn't Safe
When Close Isn't Safe
Stop Shaking the Baby
Stop Shaking the Baby
Transforming Touch in Trauma Healing
Transforming Touch in Trauma Healing
The 3 Foundations of Intimacy (and Relationship Repair)
The 3 Foundations of Intimacy (and Relationship Repair)

RECENT IN BRAINSPOTTING

Featured
What Dissociation is Trying to Tell Us (about PTSD & CPTSD)
What Dissociation is Trying to Tell Us (about PTSD & CPTSD)
Why We Don't Need to Talk about Trauma
Why We Don't Need to Talk about Trauma
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