How To Find a Good Therapist (Anywhere in the World)

Such is our ability to repattern the self and reach ever-increasing levels of awareness, the brain is described as plastic.

Exponential advances in neuroscience are giving us access to the brain that is literally the stuff of science fiction.­­

What does this mean for how we chart our destiny and change our behavior? Much like trying to do surgery on yourself, it's best to access your brain's rewrite system with someone else's guidance.

It can be alarmingly difficult to identify our thought patterns and behavior. For this reason, psychotherapy or counseling (what I'm going to call "therapy") has become a trusted way to work through stuff that comes up.

Research shows that done in the "right" way (I'll get into that in a minute), therapy can significantly accelerate personal growth and healing.

Before I detail how to make therapy work for you, let me share that I've benefited from therapy for many years now. I'd had therapists from different schools of therapy, from different countries, and in different situations around the world.

When I say "therapy," I'm not talking about religious counseling, coaching or psychiatric treatment sessions. I am referring to psychologists who are trained and licenced as clinical psychotherapists in the locality where they work. 

My resourcefulness and economic privilege allowed me to access this type of personalized mental health care whenever I've needed it. I am immensely fortunate for that.

Most people stop themselves from accessing therapy because of stigma and fear.

My hope is to break down what it takes to get therapy because when you need it, it is a very useful resource. As changemakers who are responsible for teams and leading projects, it’s up to us to address our stressors and take care of our issues.

Besides, everyone needs a little help sometimes, especially in the stressful world of accelerating change we live in now.  Anxiety and depression are on the rise, but there is a range of advances and holistic modalities that address both the symptoms and the root cause.

Therapy only works if we trust and like our therapist; it's an essential part of the healing process.

For those of us living in remote locations or outside of big cities, it can be daunting to try to find a good professional to act as a trusted resource. There might not be face-to-face resources in our area or we might not feel comfortable accessing them, because we have concerns about confidentiality.

Even if it's challenging, getting therapy when we need it is one of the wisest and best investments we can make in ourselves and our future.

A few months with a professional during a transition or a tough spot can make the difference between truly thriving or just feeling like you're surviving, barely getting by.

Here's the thing. There is such a lack of awareness about good mental health and how to get support. It is not uncommon to see celebrities or other public figures shamed in the media for their mental health issues or suicide attempts.

If you decide you want to explore therapy for any reason, I don't want a lack of knowledge about your resources to stop you from getting the support you need.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, please reach out and share this with someone who can support you immediately.

No matter where you live or what your income level, if you have access to the internet, you can access resources to support your mental health. No matter what issue you are facing or how stressful it appears, you can find real people whose job it is to help.

Most of the time, it's our internal resistance that keeps us from finding, organizing and receiving help. We tell ourselves stories that we don’t really need support, or that asking for support means we're not good or tough enough, and we create suffering for ourselves needlessly.

I invite you to try therapy if you’ve found that you’ve been dealing with something on your own for more than 2-3 months.

Here are my steps to finding a world-class therapist, wherever in the world you are.

5 Steps to Finding a Good Therapist (Anywhere in the World)

1. Know What You're Looking For

Once you make the decision to get help, make a commitment that you're not going to stop until you find what you're looking for. You are a precious and irreplaceable being, unique in all the universe, in all of space and time (as far as we know). Therefore, you deserve support. And you shall find it.

I suggest researching the internet and, if you're at all unsure of what to look for, most of us changemakers are usually working with some kind of trauma, anxiety or depression of some kind or another. Abuse is also really common and still something the culture surrounds with secrecy and shame, and something that therapy can support with.

Starting to read articles and blogs about your issue can help give you the courage to realize that you're not facing this alone. In fact, there is a whole world of other people who have walked this path before you, and who are ready to offer resources to you.

2. Go Online

Once you know what you're looking for, the next step is to find it. One word here about cost, because individual therapy sessions in person or online can be expensive and require you to belong already in the western banking system.

Where there is simply no ability to afford this kind of privileged access, and while we wait for technology to catch up and offer us anonymous, personalized AI services, you still have options.

Online forums and online 12-Step meetings offer anonymous, real-time personal support for a variety of issues. New groups are forming online all the time, and virtual reality offers a promising new space for creatively supporting this kind of healing.

3. Get Clear On What to Share when You Reach Out

It's all well and good to know what you need. Now, how do you get it? The internet means you can work with the person best qualified to meet your needs, not just whoever random lives close to you.

If you are a US citizen, I would suggest looking up someone (Psychology Today's "Find a Therapist" feature has a good directory, with specializations e.g. PTSD) in your state, or even if not, find someone in the US close to a big city who looks like they have an international/multicultural background so they can understand your context and work.

It might take a little looking, as because of licensing requirements, often professionals can only work with residents in their US state, so you may need to be creative and find someone who is understanding.

4. Shop Around and Try People Out.

People are not merchandise, but when you are hiring someone to create a safe space for your beautiful and precious self, you need to do everything you can to make sure it's a good fit for you. No matter what, your feelings and preference come first.

The only way therapy works is if you trust -- and ideally, like -- your therapist. This bond is the basic foundation of the relationship on which you can do your deep work.  You will not want to -- nor should you -- open up to someone until you feel like it, so the surest way to make therapy backfire is to hire the wrong person.

You might find this out a few sessions in, so don't fall into Sunk Cost Fallacy and decide to stay: if your therapist feels antagonizing, confrontational, unkind or judgmental, you have every right to hire someone who can provide a more supportive and nurturing environment.

5. Once You Find the Right Person, Commit to Showing Up

Not all therapists know how to navigate and treat post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), for example. And it goes without saying that not all therapists understand multicultural contexts or the complexities of diversity. If you're not aware of your right to find someone who explicitly meets your needs and makes you feel comfortable, you could end up in a dead-end situation and wonder why therapy "isn't working."

Change takes time so, once you find a good person, so if you’re totally new to the approach, commit to at least six sessions before you evaluate whether it’s a fit for you (unless the person is stressing you out, see #4).

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Once you find a good therapist, you'll delight in how easy it can be to let go of old programming from the past and write a new script for your life.

The opposite side of the West's "needing therapy is shameful" myth is the myth that therapy will solve everything and that's not true either. Therapy is part of a holistic plan for well-being, a useful addition in times of stress and change. But it's not a substitute for self-love or self-discovery, and a therapist generally won't tell you how to create a solid foundation of self-care.

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