Making the Mind an Ally

You know how certain thoughts play on repeat in your head, over and over, no matter how hard you try to move on and think of something else?

One of the things I've realized over my years of supporting changemakers is that our greatest gift is often our biggest weakness.

That's how I think of the mind.

We pride ourselves on our good ideas, on being able to out-think other species on the planet and strategize our way through any problem. Our ability to learn from the past and navigate the present to co-create a future we all want to live in is nothing short of amazing.

Us changemakers are some of the most innovative, brilliant people around.

But when applied to trying to think our way out of stressful situations, that same brilliance can turn on us to become an instrument of self-inflicted wounding, all the more powerful because we know our own weak spots.

It’s understandable why we try to fix things by trying to out-think our problems. We see think tanks and consortium, conferences and assemblies trying to talk their way through the massive challenges facing our communities and our planet. As valuable as those groups can be, they are often hierarchical and rigid, much like formal structures of logic, and governed by an over-reliance on the mind.

Growing up in a western school system that was meant to prepare me for the industrial world, I learned that the mind was superior to the body, heart and spirit. Because logic was considered more valuable than intuition, emotion or vision, the mind was always the one in charge.

When I ran into trouble, I got into the habit of trying to think my way out of it. And when my mind slipped into a negative feedback loop, repeating the same tired thought over and over, I scolded myself that if only I could be more logical, I wouldn't be in whatever pain I found myself in.

On a personal level, when we look to the mind to solve our problems, the very beliefs and structures that we use to make sense of our world can make it almost impossible to find a real solution, much less help us out of the increasing stress response we feel.

The mind tries to persuade us that this negative self-talk is helpful, that “tough love” is motivational; but it isn't true.

The mind tends to impose false constraints and unnecessary boundaries in its attempt to find solutions, to box things in and make things seem more desperate and drastic than they really are. We tell ourselves we should be trying harder, or doing better, or doing more, or any of the other painful things that we think are true, just because we think them.

These thoughts cause us immense amounts of pain.

We feel powerless, useless and wonder why we can't just snap out of it.

The power lies with us to interrupt the patterns that leave us feeling helpless and hopeless. But the power may not lie where you think.

What we need, in these moments, is a way to make the mind an ally, a way to create a safe harbor for ourselves, to anchor and approach things a different way.

Learning to resource ourselves in these moments is one of the most powerful tools for shifting out of overwhelm and into more powerful, embodied leadership.

As changemakers, we limit ourselves if we don't learn how to make an ally of the mind, not just when it’s easy to, but when the stakes are high.

Telling yourself you just have to try harder is not going to solve this.

But cracking this particular challenge opens up tremendous possibility, because the situations that used to trigger and paralyze us can become opportunities to grow.

You can learn to help make the mind an ally, so that the unique and precious brilliance you carry can be unleashed in its full power on the world – without turning into a weapon you use on yourself.

It's time we stopped the war within and became the powerful agents of change we know we are meant to be.

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