There were a handful of times, before I became sick, that I was acutely aware that I could not continue with the level of activity or the pace of work that I’d taken on. I felt myself physically tire and begin to experience a burning sense of fatigue, like overworked muscles asking for rest.

Old ideas about the planet’s seemingly endless capacity for growth or our inability to learn new things or make lasting change are falling by the wayside, rapidly being disproved by evidence-based research. I want to share what this all means for us aid workers, because it’s important and empowering for those of us creating impact around the world.

In the last few months, I’ve been in conversation with survivors and rape crisis centers, exploring the idea of digitizing the training for Rape Crisis Counselors. I’ve received overwhelming support and we’re now working with partners to create the resource.

Whatever the reasons – and there are many – we in the aid and development community still co-create a system where discussing sexual violence is often taboo and which surrounds acts of sexual violence with a culture of impunity.

When aid workers are triggered, especially those who don’t practice good self-care, it’s likely that they’ll take their frustration out by treating someone in the host country with disrespect. And that is not okay.

No one who has worked three months in the aid industry thinks that it’s a perfect system. If it was, wouldn’t we have fixed poverty and inequality and health and education and ecosystem degradation and fill-in-the-blank by now?

As my friends and colleagues in West Africa are dealing with an incredibly challenging and often terrifying Ebola outbreak, and I sit up late writing from my new home in Indonesia, I’ve been thinking a lot about fear and how it colors the landscape of our experience — if we let it.

For those in our tribe who are dealing with Ebola virus in West Africa, may this contribute to the discussion and dialogue within your own process of decision-making. For those of you in non-affected areas, may this give you a window into a process that I hope you never have to face.

When I talk about spiritual self-care, I’m talking about the care of your own spirit, your deepest vision and dreams, the part of you that feels like your essence, your wild and perfect heart, your soul. Call it what you like, but it needs tending.

There’s a huge stigma around talking about mental health, but it’s a massive influence on our lives, our choices and our careers. Ultimately, our ability to be effective and efficient doing this work comes down to good self-care.

What does Ebola actually mean for the office, for home and for day-to-day life in West Africa at the moment? First of all, it’s important to know and understand your risk level and to take precautions accordingly. Second, it’s important to manage your self-care so that you can keep a handle on your stress.

Unless we are experiencing large-scale stress or trauma, most of us don’t pay much attention to maintaining emotional health. I think that’s a big mistake, and in the industry there are signs that this is changing.

Most of the time, self-care is about mindfulness, about being patient with yourself and willing to adjust course. All that’s required for change is the energy to initiate new patterns. We are much more powerful and capable of change than we think we are.

I’m telling you this because, to live out here, so transient, doing the work we’re doing, we can’t ignore that we’re giving up physical proximity to the ones we love. That hurts.

The sad fact of the matter is, though, that as a global changemaker, you’re likely a workaholic, and no one is ever going to tell you. If you don’t believe me, take my simple quiz below. I’ll bet you, or someone close to you, literally doesn’t have a personal life.

Well-being and satisfaction are two very important feelings to have about your work. After all, we’re after health and happiness, and it’s important to feel motivated about your aid career and pleased with your life.

I’ve heard stories from my clients about all kinds of bad bosses in aid work and international development. I think there are a lot of reasons that someone in our line of work would be a stressful supervisor.

Most of us don’t talk or think a lot about stress, which is odd, because it’s big determinant of physical and mental health. Mental stress you’re likely familiar with, but what does physical stress look like? Chances are you’re holding onto some just now, so I’ll show you.

Especially in emergencies and post-conflict environments, taking care of our emotional health and wellbeing safeguards us from acting out in ways that can quickly and irreversibly damage our international careers.

The feeling that we can impact these environments and “help these people” can be a slippery one, easily intertwined with ego and an over-investment in outcomes. However many years you deny and sacrifice yourself for the sake of your work, the outcomes of that work are not up to you.